Random Rules for August 21, 2025
Margaritas at the Mall and Boots of Spanish Leather
So I’ve now published this three months in a row. I’m in danger of being productive with churning out content thanks to the concept of this column.
In case you aren’t familiar with that concept, it’s this: I am doing my own version of The Onion AV Club’s “Random Rules” column from the era prior to the enshittifcation of the internet. The good days, where people (and in this case musicians and celebrities) roamed free with their iPods, put them on shuffle, and told us a little bit about what came up. I used to write a column featuring one song, but now I am doing 10 songs with just a little blip of content about each. I am limiting myself to my “Favorites” playlist, so a major difference is that these are all guaranteed to be songs I like and not something I heard on Dr. Demento 30-40 years ago.
Read the note at the bottom for a disclaimer about rankings. I love all these songs. Just some more than others.
Ok, here we go:
“What is the Light,” The Flaming Lips—The Soft Bulletin (1999)
One of my favorite moments as a graduate student at the University of Oklahoma was bumping into Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne during an Ariel Pink show at a teeny tiny venue called the Opolis in downtown Norman. Those were simpler times and that’s all I’ll say about that.
The Soft Bulletin has to be in the running for the best album of 1999 and the top 25 for the entire decade. Simply beautiful.
3/101
“Margaritas at the Mall,” Purple Mountains—Purple Mountains (2019)
One of the best songs of all time. David Berman might be an acquired taste for some, but you need to do yourself a favor and acquire that taste ASAP. You won’t find more insightful lyrics or more biting commentary about modern living.
10/10
“The Power,” SNAP—World Power (1990)
“I’m the lyrical Jesse James.” It probably sounds goofy when I say it, but it still sounds intimidating coming from rapper Turbo B. Somehow still holds up despite me immediately connecting it to the Energizer Bunny.
“All My Happiness is Gone,” Purple Mountains—Purple Mountains (2019)
David Berman went out on top with Purple Mountains. I’m sure it was explained somewhere why he went with this name instead of Silver Jews, but this record is right there with American Water. Since I consider that record to be my favorite of all time, that’s saying something.
7/10
“Hearing Voices,” Galaxie 500—This Is Our Music (1990)
Not sure I could have hand picked another song from 1990 as diametrically opposed to SNAP’s “Power” as anything by Galaxie 500, but here we are.
5/10
“Riot Act,” Elvis Costello—Get Happy (1980)
Admittedly, I’m just getting into getting deeper into Costello’s catalog. There’s really not a bad song from his debut through Imperial Bedroom. “Riot Act,” is not in the upper echelon of Costello songs, but it’s nudging around somewhere in the background.
4/10
“Do You,” Spoon—They Want My Soul (2014)
Speaking of Elvis Costello, here’s a Costello adjacent bad (stylistically) that also just doesn’t seem to ever make a particularly bad song. “Do You?” is not at the top of my list of Spoon songs, but it’s undeniably catchy.
3/10
“Will the Circle Be Unbroken,” Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (1972)
It seems sacrilegious to criticize an Ur-text and so I simply won’t. But I’ll still give it my arbitrary grade.
4/10
“Boots of Spanish Leather,” Bob Dylan—The Times They Are A Changin’ (1964)
Dylan was acclaimed for his protest songs early in his career, but we see here that he might also have been the O.G. sad bastard. If you really listen to the lyrics of this one, it is amazingly vulnerable and honest and really shattering, especially if you’ve ever been on the bad side of the type of breakup depicted in the song. I love the payoff of the lyrics in the final stanza too, it’s full of the sort of resignation and recognition that’s rarely if ever depicted in pop music.
8/10
“Listening to Otis Redding at Home During Christmas,” Okkervil River—Golden Opportunities, Vol 1 (2007)
Unlike the other tracks on Golden Opportunities, this is both an original and a cover song (inasmuch as it borrows the chorus from Redding’s “I’ve Got Dreams to Remember”). You can find a studio version of it on Okkervil River’s 2002 album Don’t Fall in Love with Everyone You See. I never would have known that if I didn’t have to do rudimentary research for this column. So the time I’m investing in doing this column is paying for itself really.
I’ve included the studio version in the playlist.
Live version: 4/10
Album version: 1/10
A note on the rankings: All of these songs are on my favorites list. That means they’re all great songs in my estimation. 10/10 means it’s pretty much perfect. 1/10 means it’s still pretty good. Everything else is on a continuum in between those two poles. This is not a static list and things shift in the continuum on a daily basis if I think about it too much.
Here’s all of the tracks on a Spotify playlist. Let me know if you have suggestions for me to use something other than Spotify in the future. Not sure how to peacefully get rid of my account until my daughter gets off the family plan, to be honest.